Do you ever feel like you have so many thoughts running through your head, that you need to lay down and just stay there for a while doing nothing?
I don’t exactly know why, but this is happening to me more and more these days.
I believe this is also the reason that I have not been blogging for the past two years or so.
My thought process was:
1) Graduate from college
2) Find a job that fits me and that I like (more on this in another post)
3) Get my health and life in order
4) Get back to God and work on having a deeper relationship with Him (More on this later as well)
5) Save some money to open up a “real” blog
More or less, this was my thought process for the past two years. During the past two years, I would look at different blogs and read the entries that were relevant to my life. I really liked them and I dreamed of the day where I could have enough time, energy and finances to be able to finally set up my own blog. But I eventually began to realize that life is sometimes so unexpected that you can’t really follow the list you created for yourself. At least, not in that exact order or timeline. At this point and time, I have recently graduated from college, but I’m still in school to finish up a teaching certificate program. I am now starting to look for a full time job that I could do once I finish school. My health is getting better, but still needs improving. My relationship with God? Still in progress and going very slowly, but definitely and thankfully going. Saving money is pretty much nonexistent right now because whatever I have saved goes towards my student loan payments.
Recently, it’s been tugging at my heart that I really want to write, but that right now, I do not have the resources (time, money and energy) to set up a “real” blog that I have paid to create. If I were to go by that list above, I realized that it would be another year or more before I would start blogging again. I didn’t want that nor did I think that this was the kind of person God wanted me to be. God wants us to meet Him where we are and I feel that this kind of thought process was not only affecting my daily life/goals/dreams, but also, my relationship with God.
It was always, “When I get this done… When I have achieved this… When I have more money… When When When…”
That kind of thought process was making me stuck. I was getting nowhere even though I was trying so hard to go SOMEWHERE.
So I decided that I would go back to my WordPress account, look up the many blogs that I had started, but never done much with, and just start writing. I don’t know where exactly this will lead, but perhaps, being more honest with myself (and anyone who may be reading this), will help me flourish and just start doing things even if it’s not perfect or completely thought out. I am an introvert who is also an extreme planner, so doing this is kind of hard, but I believe it will get easier as I keep going.
I will do my best to write at least two times a week.
I also hope that writing on here for a set amount of times each week will make me sit down and face whether I have met my goals for the week or not. That way, I can find the motivation and extra push to try a little harder the next week.
If anyone is reading this, please leave a comment and share your thoughts. I would love to hear from you!
With warm regards,